Angolan Humor 1

Like other cultures, Angolan humor is often tied to the farcical events of everyday life.  See an example of a daily comic page from Journal de Angola, a daily Angolan newspaper.

Translation:
"Sir, is this in a hurry?"   

                                 "No, I have only waited here three hours!"

Report: Angola Poverty Level Drops

(ANGOP) The United Nations Resident Coordinator in Angola, Koen Vanormelingen, said last week in Luanda that poverty levels decreased in Angola, measured in monetary income, from 63% in 2002 to 38% in 2009. At a press conference held by agencies of the UN System in Angola,  Vanomelingen said that the country is headed toward a secure way to achieve the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs), given the advances in the past decades, such as peace and the consolidation and economic growth and social development.

In a previous UN report in June, some other impressive figures emerged: malnutrition dropped from 35% in 2002 to 23% in 2010, school enrolment has surged to 76%, and gender parity is close to being achieved in schools, with 98 girls with every 100 boys.

The attraction of considerable foreign investments, the progress on the rehabilitation of socio-economic structures and the expansion of national health network in infrastructures and staffs considered the basis for these economic and social advances.

Contary to the UN's report findings, other resident aid agencies and economists in in Angola have considered that the recent statistical drop in poverty is only within the confines of the major Angolan cities.  From their observations, the rural areas are still suffering; Angola has one of the highest infant mortality rates in the world. A rival United Nations agency, the UNDP (United Nations Development Program), also issued its annual Human Development Report stating that still one out of four Angolan children dies before the age of five. This is the same as in Sierra Leone, yet the Angolan GDP per capita exceeds $ 6,000, which is more than eight times higher than in Sierra Leone, with a GDP per capita of roughly $ 750.

African Folklore: Why Hippos Don't Eat Fish

When God was giving each animal a place in the world, the pair of hippos begged to be allowed to live in the cool water which they so dearly loved.

God looked at them, and was doubtful about letting them live in the water: their mouths were so large, their teeth so long and sharp, and their sizeand their appetiteswere so big, He was afraid that they would eat up all the fish. Besides, He had already granted the place to another predator - the crocodile. He couldn't have two kinds of large, hungry animals living in the rivers. So God refused the hippos' request, and told them that they could live out on the open plains.

At this news, the two hippos began to weep and wail, making the most awful noise. They pleaded and pleaded with God, who finally gave in. But He made the hippos promise that if they lived in the rivers, they must never harm a single fish. They were to eat grass instead. The Hippos promised solemnly, and rushed to the river, grunting with delight.

And to this day, hippos always scatter their dung on the river bank, so God can see that it contains no fish bones. And you can still hear them laughing with joy that they were allowed to live in the rivers after all. ( From: When the Hippos was Hairy and Other Tales from Africa: Nick Greaves) 

An Undeniable Impact on Angola; Mission Schools and Stations

An important part of Angola's history includes the existence and impact of evangelical missions. The influence of Protestant missionary schools is evident considering that many of the Angolans who are currently leaders in government and business today were in fact educated in Protestant schools. In fact, the three leaders of the political movements that emerged at the end of colonialism: António Agostinho Neto who was head of the Popular Movement for the Liberation of Angola (MPLA) and current President of Angola; Holden Roberto of the National Front for the Liberation of Angola (FNLA); and Jonas Savimbi who was the head of the National Union for the Total Independence of Angola (UNITA), were all Protestant School products.

Of crucial importance in this history was the Dondi Mission, established by the Congregational Church near the current city of Huambo at the beginning of the 19th century.  Dondi was the only mission in the nation at that time that provided high school level education and full medical services for Angolan indigenas, the local African population that were considered beyond civilization and denied much of the state-sanctioned social services that were available to Europeans and to the people of mixed race (meticos).

Dondi was located in Angola’s fertile central plateau of Huambo, which had long been the nation’s breadbasket as well as a retreat for wealthy Portuguese settlers fleeing the humidity and congestion of Luanda. The main city in the province, known as Nova Lisboa, under the Portuguese, was also a bustling commercial center that relied on its status as an important stop on the Benguela Railway. The Dondi Mission's approach to work with the local Angolan population immediately drew criticism from the mostly Catholic Portuguese settler community. Most questionable, in the eyes of the Portuguese settlers, was the fact that the missionaries’ primary goal was to convert indigenas who occupied the lowest rung of the colonial hierarchy. Dondi missionaries aggressively reached out to these local African villages and rather than speaking in Portuguese, worked to communicate with Africans win their local languages. They published bibles and flyers in Umbundu and taught Angolans to become pastors so that they could minister to local populations and convert their own communities.

In 1975, the upon the beginning of the civil war, the Dondi Mission was evacuated and henceforth was destroyed during the many years of civil war.  At this time, many groups within the United Church of Canada are organizing a campaign to rebuild the Dondi mission and continue its impact on the nation.  (info from Kate Burlingham: "In the Image of God": Missionaries and the Mapping of Angolan Politics)

Truly a Hard Life

(Submission by Nicolas Cominellis, visiting doctor to CEML Hospital) "A short time ago in the hospital, I was talking with a 35-year old Angolan lady who 10 years earlier lost her left leg to a land mine. Angola was once home to the highest per capita concentration of land mines in the world! During the recent war years, this lady lost 8 of her 10 children to fever and diarrhea. No one knows her own diagnosis for sure because medical care facilities from her district are sparse. Without the support of her husband, who was lost to combat during the civil war, she somehow managed to escape starvation. Then a few days ago this remarkable lady fell, could not get up and was brought to the CEML Hospital with pain in her only remaining right leg. Check out the X-ray below!"

Sadly, similar cases as these are all too common within CEML's rural outreach area of southern Angola. The Hospital is aiming to expand its medical services to meet the great exent of these needs.

Angola's Passion for Fashion

After many years of isolation by the civil war, the Angolan fashion industry and its designers are now emerging and is winning plaudits for its fusion of African and interational style.  There was certainly no shortage of interest in Angolan's designs during Angolan's Fashion week in June 2010. There were eight Angolan designers altogether, including designers from Portugal, Brazil and the UK were present with an interest in the emerging designs.

Lucrécia Moreira, one of Angola's top designers states," Urban Angolans are characterized as very good consumers of fashion. This can be seen by walking down any street; they all like to dress well and look good. You can see all the new boutiques opening in Luanda – this is a big industry. When the Hugo Boss store opened a few years back, it made the most sales on its opening night of any Hugo Boss store in the world, which gives you an indication of the appetite people here have for fashion in Angola.”

Moreira’s work is a fusion of influences. She likes to use traditional African fabrics, patterns and colours with European flourishes to create a modern style but one with its roots in tradition. Explaining her style, Moreira said: “The education that we had during the long years of Portuguese colonisation did not allow us to interpret our own culture, so Angolans were not used to wearing African clothes.

“But through travelling around the continent I started to see that people in other African countries used African-style clothes and identified themselves as Africans through their clothes. It was from there that I started to create African fashion."

Ginga Neto, as pictured at left, has a Luanda boutique, Mahinda Prestige, that is becoming a fashion landmark. It is one of the few shops in the country where you can buy Angolan designed and produced clothes. The big attraction this season is Ginga’s new Jeanswear Collection, the first Angolan denim range, which comes with unique symbols of Chokwe sand paintings on the pockets. (Adapted from Sonangol Universo Magazine September 2010)